Today I Celebrate my 70th Birthday

I’ve been around for 7 decades. Today I celebrate my 70th birthday.

I have seen a lot, traveled around the world and enjoyed a lovely family.

As I look back there are certain highlights that stick at the edge of my consciousness.

I Love Work

I have always worked at something. Growing up on a farm northeast of Greeley, Colorado it was a given that you get up every day and do something. By high school I begged my parents to “let” me get a job in town. I remember walking around the block downtown then going in every shop asking for a job. Of course I had no skills, but was full of hope and confidence that they would want and need me. I would walk up the narrow staircase of a law office and offer my service to the receptionist/paralegal who looked at me like I was nuts to ever apply as she had the job firmly in her grasp. I was not taught outright the gift of networking to use that as a method to obtain a job. I stopped by Long’s Cafe. the restaurant where my parents and grandparents ate every Sunday dinner after church. They gave me a chance and I was delighted.

I used those restaurant skills to waitress at a Tender Steer cafe in Ft Collins. I would ride my bike from college classes to the cafe, serve a bunch of people and hurry back to classes that afternoon. It was quick, good money and helped with the college costs. When I graduated from college I wanted an office job – God knows why. I worked for a new department store that I think was called ‘The Classic” downtown Ft. Collins as the personnel office (my college major) with a sign on the door and everything for a whopping $1.60 per hour, minimum wage at the time. All glam and glitter don’t make it a top notch job. I spent most of my meager pay check on clothes that I got at a discount. Keep in mind you could buy gas for 39 cents a gallon and hamburger meat was about 33 cents a pound.

Moved to Louisiana, took that college placement catalog, called and walked into every business listed in the book. No internet or cell phones so this was a tedious process. I happened across the department manager of Penny’s who was best friends with the department manager of Sears. He gave me his friend’s name and told me stop by Sears and ask for his buddy. Well the personnel department sure took notice when I dropped that name and gave me extra consideration landing me a job in the personnel department to shovel records about and work on the training program.

I learned a lot about discrimination from that job. First of all this about 1969 what the civil rights act had just been passed and blacks were integrated into society. No more separate lunchrooms, bathrooms or water fountains. It was my job to schedule the flying squad of workers who went from department to department filling in. I had to place people of color into these departments in the same percent as the population of the city, which was over 50%. This was a difficult task at the time as we would always run out of qualified, educated people. When we found a person, we would work them as many hours as they could handle.

On the other side of the fence, from my point of view, life was great and people were a friendly lot. At breaks I would plop down with some of my friends from the flying squad in the cafeteria. After break my older supervisor would call me aside and ask me what I was doing sitting with “those” folks? Not to make a fuse, I learned to take my break at my desk to keep my nose clean and appease those old time racial concerns.

For my career I learned from reviewing the many records I had to file that I was clearly being discriminated against as a women. My college education, test scores and experience were the same or better than the department managers making twice the pay. Yikes.!. I had to do something about that. I met with my supervisor, her boss and then the assistant store manager. He was a big old guy who knows the ropes from the inside. He was not going to budge on a promotion or opportunity. He looked me straight in the eye and said, “unless you are planning on getting a hysterectomy we wouldn’t take a chance on me as they needed someone with a lot of available hours and no other commitments.” Really? This is what the working world is about? Well, that experience laid the ground work for a view of life that took away the rosy outlook.

I moved back to Colorado worked for a while at Noble foods where I met Irene Szeluga who introduced me to her brother, Stan, now my husband of 43 years. Best place to work I could have selected with that long term opportunity.

I worked at Mountain Bell for a while as a service rep with a bunch of other college graduates who didn’t want to be teachers. Learned the “get a head solution” there was to sleep with the boss, something not to my liking. I still thought skills and education were key to promotion. There was also more civil rights legislation that promoted blacks to any management job as long as they had the education ticket. It was a difficult time to move up the ladder when there was always someone in line ahead of you for a variety of reasons.

We moved to Brownsville, Texas. I worked for a while at Southwestern Bell. Being on the border, you really needed to be fluent in Spanish to work directly with the public. They put me on the final bill desk, where I investigated unpaid bills. Boy that was a thankless job. Chasing people. Lying to people to obtain information. Yuk. Stan was on top of his game as the chief engineer of the utility. He was good buddies with my new boss at the phone company. I finally quit to be a stay at home mom. Much more fun.

It was hot and humid in Texas. John was 18 months old and Jamie was about eight. The school systems were so – so and still everything was in Spanish in the late 1970’s. Jamie was one of the few kids in 1st and 2nd grade who could read English. So we moved back to Colorado picking Jefferson County where the education would be one of the best for our kids.

Deciding to move and getting the job done took awhile in a slow housing market in south Texas. Stan lived in Seattle while I kept the house showroom ready for potential people to view it. Stan would send me the house payment and being the industrious sort that I am, I would invest this money in macramé cord and beads, invite all my friends over for lessons and turn that house payment into extra cash from sale of supplies and giving free lessons.

Macramé was my part time job for the next 20 years. When we moved back to Colorado, I would make macramé every day and sell it on the weekend at craft fairs. I met a guy named Joe Ghetto who asked this simple question, “Do you have any extra plant hangers that I could sell him by the dozen for the local King Sooper’s grocery store.” That sounded good. I could continue being a stay at home mom, make some extra money and keep my hands busy. He had sold plant hangers to the store for about 8 years since macramé was a big trend of the 1970’s and 1980’s. He liked to dye the jute and spin it dry in a centrifuge. I wasn’t much for dying, so I bleached it in the washer and spun it dry. That gave it that nice eggshell rustic color.

Joe told me after 5 months or so that he didn’t want this job any more. I was disappointed at first, and then realized that I did want this job so I asked to buy his business for $1,000. His business was named Strange Designs. His wife was an artist. She took the logo and changed the Strange to Divine and a new business was born. This was long before computers made it easy to develop a logo. Everything was designed by hand. Joe took me along to a couple stores and introduced me to the produce manager. Joe had serviced 24 stores. I found out quickly that he barely serviced those and the racks were bare. I got busy and asked everyone I knew to make plant hangers for me. The business came with one employee, Sharon. She lived downtown and did meticulous work on one pattern. She didn’t have a car so I had to drop off her work every week and pick it up a week later with another load for her to work on. My sister, cousin Mike, Uncle Don, nephew’s wife Renee, daughter Jamie and her friend Lynn pitched in to help. I delivered finished plant hangers all over the metro area so I could arrange to pick-up and drop off work all over town. I could tell pretty early if a person would like this type of job. They either did the work quickly or just didn’t quite get into the swing of it. During the 20 years I sold plant hangers to the large chain I continuously employed 7 to 10 people from all walks of life every week.

I learned pretty early that Joe had not really done job to service the large grocery chain. Stan was my rack maker. He designed a rack that took up minimum floor space with tilted dowels so the plant hangers would not fall off the rack. I found supplies in the Denver area at a wholesale craft supplier and a bag company that also sold large quantities of jute. I would add a store here and there during stiff competition with imported products by always keeping my quality up and prices down. I went from the first 24 stores that were barely serviced to over 80 stores from Pueblo to Fort Collins. My Friday part time job turned into pretty much full time work.

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2013 – Kropewnicki Christmas

Kropewnicki Christmas – 2013

I read an article in the paper about a lady who had collected 1,500 creches. Really, does it take that many to get the job done?

I reflected on the ones that we have had over the years starting with a three inch small Christmas ornament where you could barely see Mary, Joseph and the baby. When I married Stan, he came with a creche – a big one with hand painted paper Mache figures ten inches tall and a stable that barely fit on living room side table. It is charming in a European way as if Stan’s mom had found it over there instead of a shop in New York. Over the years this nativity scene moved around the room from table to underneath the tree and showed a little wear and tear from forty years of use.

My recent favorite is one I bought in Poland at a woodcarver’s shop. The delicate pieces are perched on a music box. I was happy that is was packed carefully and the intricate carvings made it back safely to Colorado.

One of our apartment tenants left a creche that was a simple outline made of walnut with only three figures. I occasionally put it on a table by a picture window. When the light shines through in the dark of the night, a long shadow of the figures is reflected in the room. There is a church at Wadsworth and 26th that has a similar outline of the nativity scene. When lighted at night, tall shadows appear on their brick wall.

When John married Rachel I gave them a small porcelain nativity scene that my friend Kris’ daughter was selling for a school project. I figured John and Rachel needed one and the little girl needed some money for her project. Now Rachel has a creche from the Willow Tree collection. It is quite stunning on the mantel.

Christmas is bombarded with symbols of all types. I have a collection of tall, round, short and skinny Santas. Little houses are always fun to put out, and then light up as if there were a miniature Christmas village in our living room. I remember my Grandmother, Anna Swanson, would have snow made of cotton on one of her end tables filled with little characters including a hand blown glass reindeer. Right in the middle was a plastic church with lighted windows. I still put out that same church with our little houses. Snowmen are an easy theme – kind of non-committal and wintery with cute smiles and colorful scarves. I see mice depicted on Christmas cards. Cute that they are, they remind me of that pesky fellow that lived indoors with us this year evading every attempt on our part to capture him. After I meticulously cleaned and scrubbed every corner and drawer throughout the house, he finally met his demise. I imagined he was sent as a gift to me as I know I needed to clean up the entire house from the corners on out. This year I took on a pink Hello Kitty theme for Anya, our 5 year old granddaughter’s advent pouches filled with fun small gifts and candy. Pretty soon she will be too old and think that this a silly idea – so I do it while it works and is fun for her.

I don’t think that I need to collect oodles of crechees for the impact of the symbol to carry through. The meaning is still the same with Jesus front and center.

I call on Jesus from time to time, but don’t want to make a pest of myself as I try to work through things on my own. This was a tough year that required a little more help.

September we had those devastating floods from Boulder / Estes Park down through Longmont, Ft. Collins and Greeley. I grew up around Greeley and remember that trickle of the South Platte River flowing gently under the highway bridges. It swelled to eighteen feet above flood stage and took houses, people and animals in it’s path. In Lakewood, we had a bad hail storm right before the big floods that left water seeping into our basement window wells. We dried it out and then decided to replace the carpet. We have lived here 37 years and stored way too many things in the basement. Even though our damage was nothing like the folks suffered up north, it was still one month of sorting one’s treasures and moving along without them. Now I have a nice tidy place to sew and space to practice saxophone and accordion with Stan.

I had the opportunity to be with my cousin Don Wayman through his last days as cancer claimed his life. He was a cheerful soul over the last couple years when assigned to a hospice. He told me the first week he was there that he could carry anger over the whole situation or embrace it and make the best of it. He choose the latter and touched so many lives at the nursing home by offering conversation and assistance to both the infirmed and professional caregivers. I was amazed at all who came to pay their final respects over those last few days.

Strength was needed when we had to make the right decision when our 12 year old cattle dog, Sydney broke her back leg. That decision was one of the hardest we had to make as she was a key part of our family. We subsequently found a rescue dog at the shelter that gives us all kinds of opportunities to learn patience and teach some discipline. She is a one year old beagle / fox hound mix named Lily with more energy than both Stan and I combined. She won’t replace Sydney, but definitely has found a way to lick us into liking her a lot.

I went to too many funerals this year. I had seen people I had lost touch with since my childhood. I found a quick prayer with childhood girlfriends bought touching moments to connect the many years that had slipped away. My nephew, Jim’s wife Cathy died in late fall. At her memorial service I met with his children and grandchildren along with family from Nebraska that I had not seen for ages. It is amazing to see similar values and personal traits carry through the generations.

Time to go to the attic to bring out the nativity scene – front and center.

Merry Christmas
Stan and Joyce

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Visit with Aunt Jo Eich – Age 100 10-21-2013

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Today Stan and I visited with his Aunt Josephine (JO) Eich who turned age 100 in July 2013.

I really didn’t know what to expect. I can’t say I remember ever meeting her before in the forty years I have been married to Stan.

Aunt Jo always lived in Long Island, New York. She was married to Fred Eich for years. When he passed away Aunt Jo married Michael Kaczmarski. She told us today that Michael had died last week at age 97 and had been staying in a Veteran’s facility. She chuckled when she said he was younger than her. It must be difficult in later years to know your mate was in a different facility and both of you were unable to contact one another. Aunt Jo has hearing problems so calling him by phone would be out of the question.

Life goes on and after all a hundred years take their tole. After that time one has certainly seen many friends and relatives pass on. You must have great strength to keep a cheerful attitude about life to maintain a smile and bubbly personality.

Aunt Jo told us she was responsible for reading at the Mass daily. We took her photo with Stan and I checked the digital picture to see if it showed the cheery person that she is. I asked her to take another with a big smile. She flashed me that smile and I clicked the perfect photo of her. When I showed her she said “Instant pictures. How fun.” You can imagine what technology has developed over the last 100 years from the box cameras that only took black and white using silver photo negatives to these quick digital photos.

Aunt Jo proudly told us she had all her own teeth. She mentioned her father Leopold was a stickler for keeping your teeth clean all the time. It worked.

I asked her what was the secret for living 100 years. She thought a quiet moment and said “It is God’s will.”

She told us about her family. She remembered her children, grand children and great-grand children.

I told here I was learning to play saxophone. We play some polkas with Stan playing his accordion while I play saxophone. I mentioned that Stan’s accordion was mostly in the closet for 35 years until we started playing together. She had a sweet expression on her face as she remembered Stan playing as a young boy.

I asked if she had played an instrument when she was younger. She said there were too many children in the house with little money for just a luxury as a musical instrument. I wish we lived closer so we could play for her. She grew up in New York with Stan’s mom Alyce, and two other sister’s: Frances and Loretta. She had three brothers: Bill, Stanley and Eddie.

It was amazing how much she remembered and how articulate she was in her chat with us.

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Colorado Floods 9-9-2013 through 9-15-2013

I grew up in Greeley Colorado. I lived there from 1946 until I went to college in the fall of 1964. In September the corn would be eight to ten feet tall with thick healthy leaves and fat ears filled to the brim with rich kernels of corn. The pinto beans would be just turning yellow in the field preparing for harvest time with pods filled with plump beans.

On September 13, 2013 I saw in the news that the heavy rains measuring 8 to 18 inches over several days in the northern region of Colorado from Boulder north through Fort Collins were taking the tole on swollen rivers at 10 feet over flood stage. The Platte River that always ran quietly through Evans and LaSalle as a bear trickle was now 18 feet deep.

In the time I spend in the Greeley area, I had never encountered any such flooding. One summer after a hail storm I took a ride with my dad to survey the damage. I had watched my dad in sadness as he viewed his hailed crops laying shattered in the rows knowing it was too late in the season to replant. He knew that his work for that year was in vain.

There were times that we gathered in the dark of night at the top of the stairs and looked out the window at the clash of lightening and thunder as the summer storms rolled in. The irrigation pump was venerable to these lightening strikes. We would wait in worry with my mom as we watched our dad drive down the road in driving rain to check on the pump up on the corner.

Over the years the rich farmland of Weld County was improved to maximize ease of farming and crop yields. I remember my dad had been very diligent to grade the land each year with a float to help flatten out the variations in terrain. The forty acres he farmed across the dirt road from our house started out with one portion of the land about the size of a couple footballs fields level with our house. A ditch ran around the perimeter of this smaller parcel. At the edge of the ditch it dropped off about four or five feet to the rest of the 40 acres.

Dad mostly planted hay on this spot as it was easier to harvest on this odd shaped land. As years passed he grew weary of it’s shape and difficulty in irrigating and invested in a project to have this whole piece leveled with the rest of the fields. Now he could easily grow rows of corn or beans from the top of the field to mid-way to the mile line where the forty acres ended.

Other farmers did the same until the farmland around Greeley was nice and flat. On September 13 when the rivers reached their capacity and over flowed the banks, the water moved throughout the farmland like spreading soft butter on a piece of bread.

Fields of corn were covered with three or four feet of water. Bean crops ready for harvest were drenched and stripped under the weight of the water and pressure from the flow of the quick moving current. Cows could be seen huddled together on sparse strips of higher ground. Their hay and grain that they so desperately need soaked under feet of water from the river.

Dairy farmers take pride in their milk production with the latest equipment to milk their cows a couple times a day. Their large herds make this a continuous task the whole day long. If electricity goes out or their corrals flood their whole operation comes to a screeching halt. The tole on animals and farmers is not known at this point until waters recede and damage can be assessed. The direct economic impact will be obvious with homes and businesses damaged or lost to the floods. Higher prices and limited supply of milk products and cheese processed in the new Leprino plant at the edge of Greeley will be felt by all the region. Jobs will be lost or suspended while businesses and farmers regroup and rebuild.

Such devastation over the past week to Colorado is disheartening. On September 9th we received the blast of hail in Lakewood that shredded our flowers and leaves on the trees. A river of hail and water a foot or so deep ran through our front and back yard from the roads on higher ground south of our home. Quite a bit of water splashed into the window wells and ran into the basement to sog up the carpet. As I clean up this slight inconvenience I am humbled by what others are encountering with walls of mud and debris that ran through their homes or raging rivers that uprooted sizable trees or split their homes right in two.

I watched on TV a video clip of one of the farmers tending to his horse by riding it bare back through deep water to bring it to safety. The strength of the people will bring the community together through these darkest times.

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Polka Dancing In Wisconsin July 18, 2013 to July 21, 2013

Pulaski Polka Days in the small town of Pulaski just 15 minutes from Green Bay Wisconsin is the Woodstock of polka festivals, without the drugs of course.

Over four days the dancers are whipped into a frenzy of dancing and music delight. Over 20 Polish Polka bands take turns playing under two outdoor tents. Each day the bands change and the music seems to improve with the talented musicians bringing their best.

Thursday was dollar day and the place quickly filled up with people of all ages. The weather was a hot 95 degrees with humidity hanging heavy in the air. There was a ponderousness of youngsters taking the floor with their quick whirs around the floor. Young children were learning the polka step at the hands of their parents or grandparents. All had that smile of joy on their faces.

Friday and Saturday the entrance fee was ten bucks. Friday the hot weather persisted. Saturday was low humidity in the 70’s dropping to 64 degrees in the evening. What the pleasant change.

By Saturday night the crowds thickened as the Polka Family took stage. They are one of the most popular polka bands. I slipped into the front by the stage to take a couple of videos. Most times the fans leave about ten foot or so between the stage and the band. This time the crowds were right next to the stage, packed like sardines. Somehow I was right in the fray.

The music is deafening loud even with make shift earplugs. The fans don’t back off, not even an inch when the music starts, because the music and enthusiasm and talent of Hank Guzevich, the band’s leader, is well worth the high intensity of sound.

I step away and find the crowds have spilled out ten or more deep on both sides of the tent. On one side of the tent, portable chairs have been set up from the tent’s edge all the way to the road. This is one popular band. I meet Stan in the bleachers at end of the dance floor. Music is loud back there also. The dancers are packed on the dance floor moving faster then you could imagine.

It was over the top.

There are plenty of things to do during the festival and around the area. On Friday we arrived an hour early to park our portable chairs around the dance floor for the day. We heard music from the RV park on the festival grounds. Stan assured me it was folks playing a CD. We walked over and found Roger Majeski jamming between the RVs with guys playing concertinas, trumpets, clarinets, accordion and drums. What a way to start off the day.

We took a short half hour drive north of Green Bay to Ocona Falls. It is a small town with quiet falls trickling over an old damn. The Family Falls Restaurant along the main street served delicious potato pancakes. A biker bar across the street must have been good judging from all the shinny motorcycles parked out front.

We always enjoy a few visits to Smurawa’s Country Bakery about four blocks from the Polka Festival. They have great polish food and delicious pastries and donuts rich in flavor you might remember from your childhood. Stan always tries out the the prune paczki (a filled bizmark). One year we tried a creme puff filled to the brim with fresh whipped creme. Our favorite server is Flo. She has grown up over the past five years from a young teenager to a pretty young girl with flowing auburn hair and freckles. She always remembers us with a smile.

Green Bay has the best Chinese food at Manda ran Garden across from Bay Park Square. We stop there for lunch for a break from periogies and golabki (Polish stuffed cabbage).

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Polka dancing in Massachusetts – July 2013

We found fun places to polka dance that are within and hour and a half drive from the Boston area in Massachusetts.

While visiting our son John and his family over the 4th of July week, we took the opportunity to go polka dancing on two Sunday’s. The first weekend we traveled to Ludlow, MA to Christ the King polka festival featuring two polka bands: Doubleshot and Lenny Gomulka with the Chicago Push. It was such a delight to hear some different style of music played by top musicians this style of music. The 5 piece bands really add to the depth of music.

Doubleshot has two trumpets and two accordions along with a drummer. They really know how to set the crowd to dancing. Ludlow is Lenny Gomulka’s hometown. He is a master at the clarinet, trumpet and saxophone and sings like a bird. He is complimented by a trumpet, concertina, bass guitar and drummer.

Doubleshot YouTube video

Lenny Gomulka YouTube Video

The following weekend we journeyed back to the same area to Pulaski Park in Three Rivers, MA to hear the Eddie Forman Orchestra. Eddie played the accordion and keyboard complimented by talented musicians one who played soprano, alto, tenor saxophone and clarinet others on the trumpet, base guitar and drums. They had a ball playing for the crowd. With this combination of instruments they really had and interesting sound.

YouTube – Eddie Forman Orchestra

The folks at the dance were delightful. Peggy wore a bright red flowered dress and had the personality to match. She loved the music and sang along with the Polish words. At Pulaski park she was first up to the band to ask for a request. As the band played her song she sang alone with a smile on her face as she headed back to her seat. Later she could be seen on the dance floor with another friend walking with a bounce in their step, both holding on to their four wheeled walkers. They would turn their walkers around to the music showing they were still young at heart and able to let that music sing through their soul.

Eddie Forman Orchestra 7-13-2013 in Three Rivers, MA. I love the ladies dancing with the help of their walkers.

Another lady loved the music so much that she was up for almost every dance. The Ukrainian polkas had a special beat and she danced in time around the floor as if she were performing. Sometimes she would dance with a partner, but not always. For the waltzes she had a good size boy doll she held tight as she waltzed around the floor.

I mention these ladies in admiration for folks keeping up with what they enjoy through their later years.

Others had smiles of delight as you watched them dance. It is hard to be grumpy while listening to polka music.

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Kropewnicki July Pool Party 7-6-2013

This is year three of a pool party for the Kropewnickis.

The house in Melrose came with a pool. John and Rachel had a lot of friends and family. What better time then a hot Saturday right after the fourth of July to celebrate summer. We were fortunate to be in Boston during this time to celebrate with them.

We watched Anya enjoy herself with a swimming bubble at age two to this year with no bubble. She is a confident swimmer and easily makes many trips up and down the slide into the deep end of the pool. This year she had a trick where she climbed up her dad’s shoulders and perched on top of his head, she took a dive into the water. It was quite a feat to see from a little girl full of energy.

The children of the visiting families have grow up to from little toddler’s playing in the back yard on a the slide and in the playhouse to enjoying the beautiful day in the pool.

Food is delicious with juicy hamburgers and hot dogs fresh from the grill. An assortment of salads and fruit fill up of the plate. Top that off with a chocolatey brownie or a cup of ice cream called a Hoodie and you are all set.

A nice tradition.

2012 Kropewnicki Pool Party
2012 Kropewnicki Pool Party

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4th of July 2013 in Boston, MA

Spectacular fireworks were viewed from the 20th floor of a well appointed downtown Boston office.  The children were in giggles and awe of the bright colors splashed across the night’s sky.  My favorite are the ones that explode into many colors and cascade down into the dark night.

Early in the day we gathered our beach gear into the car and off we went to Marblehead Deveroux beach.  After paying the $10 to park we drove right into the first row parking spot.  A short twenty foot walk in the sand and we were set for a few hours of summer fun.  A few kids were already splashing in the quiet surf.

A cool breeze relaxed us on a hot humid day.  Anya and John hurried to the water’s edge to enjoy a cooling dip.  Mostly I stayed under the umbrella for a relaxing morning.

I was probably the only one strolling on the beach in long cotton pants which ensured a sunburn-less day.  Kites were flying in the distance in the steady wind.  A low-key sand castle building contest was under way.  John busied himself by digging a deep hole.  Then Anya worked at burying John up to his neck in wet sand.  He had sand everywhere.

One family were well into this activity with shovels in a whir moving sand into two big piles.  Later I found that they had formed a pair and sneakers with letters spelling out Boston Strong in honor of the tragic bombing of the Boston Marathon in April 2013.

The weather turned hot – hot – hot with high humidity.  It was stifling walking downtown  in the throngs of people heading for the esplanade to watch the fireworks.  We relaxed on a bench in the Common Wealth and watched the people.  A breeze  would have been so welcoming.

We meet Rachel’s friend and stopped in a hotel for some adult refreshment, then off to their office building across the street for such a delightful air-conditioned view of the fireworks from the 20th floor.

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Donald Lee Wayman – 9/28/1946 – 5/23/2013

Donald Lee Wayman
September 28, 1946 to May 23, 2013
Per Don’s wishes there will be cremation – No services planned

Don spent more than a year of his life in a Centennial Hospice Center in Greeley. Inoperable cancer had wrapped itself around several vital pathways for the liver and gallbladder to operate efficiently. Stage 4 liver cancer was diagnoses in November 2011. His brother Tom, took care of all arrangements to move Don from his apartment to the Hospice.

According to Beth, Don’s Certified Nurses Assistant (CNA), when Don arrived at the Hospice with a prognoses of a few months to live he was angry at most things and the situation. Early on Don introspectively evaluated his situation and discovered he had two choices: 1) To become the grumpy old man at the center or 2) Embrace the situation and make a shinning light for all he met. He choose to make the best of a bad situation and took time every day to help others.

In the last days I was witness to the results of that year and a half. As he lay quietly in his bed with death lingering at his doorstep, a steady stream of staff and residents came in his room to say their last good-by’s. From nurses, CNAs, administrators, therapists to the clean up crew I learned of the impact he had made to each of their lives. He showed a genuine interest in their situations, offering a fresh perspective to their lives while making each of them experience their special place.

I was touched when we met Amy, Don’s music therapist. She said she visited with Don each week that he had been there. Although she was a music graduate, it was Don who taught her the nuances of music and performance that only a keen intellect could discover. That last day she bought in her smart phone connected to a device that stored music of all types as she had done so many times before. Don loved Vladimir Horowitz playing classical music. You could see the video of him playing on the smart phone. On these last days Amy held the phone close to his ear as Don lay quietly listening with eyes shut. His fingers gently moving at his side as if he were playing along to Moonlight Sonata. Amy leaned over and thanked Don for the time he had spent with her and told him to say hello to her dad when he sees him. It was such a touching moment of unconditional love. Amy turned to us and said her dad had passed on a few months ago and Don had helped her through her grief. A glance at Stan revealed our tears welling up in our eyes as we learned her story.

Don and I were born the same year in 1946, the first of the baby boomer generation. Our moms were sisters and best friends. Our families often visited. As a youngster I played with Don in his room and learned the many things that were interesting him each time. One day he had tanks lined up around the room filled with guppies and other tropical fish he was breeding. Another he had African violets, some in full bloom and some just leafing out from a cutting. One time he had orchids of every variety. He knew and could pronounce all the sub-species names. He always took things to the infinitesimal detail with ease.

As we both went on to college our pathways led in different directions. We would meet on fourth of July to watch the parade in downtown Greeley from his parent’s porch on 9th Avenue and 10th Street. I remember the summer after my freshman year at CSU and Don’s at CU walking in the crowd during the parade. Don was chatting with me about religions and philosophy he was studying. I on the other hand were more interested in boys and clothes and didn’t really have a clue. During that conversation he was talking with me and also talking with others on another plane. This was the first apparent exposure to Don’s mental illness with schizophrenia. This was 1965 when mental illness was not discussed in private, with families or in public. I thought it a strange behavior and asked who he was talking with. Of course, Don didn’t understand my concern. Over the years and struggles, Don received help and associated government assistance. His talent blowing in the wind with no direction.

That same summer Don asked me to come inside the house where he showed me he had learned to play the piano. Most of us take piano lessons as a child and learned over years to play a few simple songs. Don did not learn music as a child. He started in college and went from zero knowledge to accomplished pianist in a few months. Next time I saw him he was writing classical music and played a piece for me. I found one of his music scores maliciously written tucked into a book in his top dresser drawer the last day I visited him. I hope to find someone with the musical skills to play his creation.

Don could hear us when we visited those last couple days. When we arrived at Don’s room, he struggled to sit up then recognizing Stan and greeted him cheerily. He had little strength to sit up, so the nurse helped him lie back down. His speech was difficult to make out probably due to the drugs they had given him for final bouts of pain. Don had a couple bowls of soup and ice cream for lunch right before we came. I tried to ask what flavor of ice cream, but was unable to discern the answer. Don was probably thinking, “What does this person want to know what flavor of ice creme I ate, while I’m on my march toward death?”

Don will be missed and memories will be cherished.

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Boston / New Hamspire 2-14-2013 to 2-21-2013

Stan and I took a long weekend vacation to visit with John and his family  in Boston for his birthday on February 15.  It was a chilly day in Denver with snow flurries predicted.  By noon the snow swirled in the wind around the planes as we waited at the airport gate for our turn to board.   All waiting passengers boarded quickly then waiting another hour for our turn to de-ice the plane.  Better to wait then risk adversity in mid-air.

We arrived safe and sound to Boston.  John and Anya greeted us happily.  Anya is now age  four and a big chatter-box.  She remembers us through frequent visits over the years and willing talks with us.  She is such a delight.

The next morning we loaded up a mini-van for a weekend trip to the picturesque ski resort of Waterville Valle in New Hampshire.  It was so nice of Deb to let us use her condo for the weekend.  The views of the birch and pine forest along creeks  with frozen ice and snow made my day.  What a pleasure to escape TV and constant internet use.  It is amazing how tied we are to being connected on-line.  The cable TV wasn’t working well for this weekend so we were free of news and other distractions that hog our daily lives.

Anya was busy coloring and playing with Barbies.  I didn’t even own a Barbie when I grew up.  I had one doll that I remember named Cecil.  He was a little boy doll with a smooth head with painted on slicked down hair.  He had one set of coveralls and a little shirt that I would dress and undress from time to time.    Another doll I had was an 18″ walking doll named Saucy Sandy.  My mom had made her a few cute little outfits including a woolen coat and hat.   She had silky yellow gold hair that was braided on each side.  To this day I have never taken those braids out so the hair wouldn’t be tangled.

I spent time with Anya combing through Barbie’s hair while she dressed and re-dressed them with those deft little fingers.  I have no idea how people make these little outfits and all their trim.

We went to cozy places for dinner.  Wild Coyote had oscar mushrooms on a succulent veggie burger.  Others had buffalo meatloaf, batter sauteed zucchini with chicken and veal ribs.  It was the best in a setting with a view of the ski mountain and a giant evergreen adorned with sparkling white lights.

The next day we walked through the nearby village square wrere people were busy renting skis to cross-country ski along the many paths along the river.  We went upstairs to story time at the Curious George Museum.  The author, Margaret H. A. Rey, of these popular children’s books, had lived in Waterville Valley.   The children sat quietly listening to several stories.  There was a fun wall toy that had modules with magnates on the back of each piece that attach to a painted metal wall.  Each eight inch square module was different; some were mazes and others had fans and other channels like old fashioned pinball machines.  The kids could put a ball in the top of the toy that they had built and the balls would maneuver down the channels into a bucket at the bottom.  All the kids vied for space and balls in a rush to make this toy work.

In the same area was an indoor ice rink.  Young kids age twelve and up were having a hockey tournament over of the weekend.  These kids really go after it.  There were mostly boys, but one little number 12 caught out eye as she scurried around batting the puck with the best of the boisterous teammates.

Next morning we went to Benton sugar stack in Thornton, New Hampshire.  They had the best homemade bread and maple syrup.  Stan mentioned that we have lots of the implements from my parents’ family that were hanging on the walls and shelves of the quaint restaurant.

Back to Boston in a snow storm to 3 -4 inches of snow on the walkway and driveway.  Now back to TV and constant internet.

Anya treated us to a little dancing as she tried on a new dress from Grandma.  She was graceful and full of energy.

https://plus.google.com/photos/110572816454757109862/albums/5845226150446407617

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